In art school, rifts were created between the students that could relate only to realism, and those that created abstract or other types of art. At the end of my schooling, I created minimalist or conceptual artwork. A conflict between realism and abstract art has been going on inside of me since that time. I favor realism when the isolation of my illness, gives me a desire to reach others. At times, though, I struggle with what is my true mode of expression. This doesn't really matter, because I can enjoy what I do each step of the way. MCS and chronic fatigue forced me to take the pressure off and pour on the kindness.
Currently, I am working on a drawing that is teaching me about my perspective. The progress is so slow because of my physical limitations, it is painful. Maybe this is best, because I think more about what I am doing with the drawing. The first few years in art school, I did not think while drawing and my style reflected it. One teacher called it my "mashed potato style." When everything slipped out of my hands because of MCS, it changed my style. I render as much solidity and weight in my forms as possible. That is why I chose my husband sleeping, as my first life study since art school. I was drawn to his large form, and was interested by the peaceful escape of his sleeping battle with Hepatitis C. The flu-like side effects of the drugs to eliminate the deadly virus, were so strong and varied, that many days he was more sick than I.
Fiery Girl was written and illustrated in three years, with a total of 12 illustrations. It is based on the real life experience of a boy who overcame his fear of the dark in the basement during a power outage. I have had to deal with the fear of pain and loss from chemical exposures and contaminations. It was a joy to see this story come to life. I have decided not to submit it to a publisher for health reasons and I hope to show it online sometime soon.