Why do spiritual healers assert a sick soul is the underlying cause for disease? In the case of MCS patients, I believe the sick souls belong to the greedy manufacturers of the products and to other people responsible for public and employee safety. The average individual walks through life trusting that his surroundings and environment are safe. The employee reports for work every day, trusting the employer's judgment regarding safety -- his/her only sin is his ambition and desire for success and promotion -- the basic need is sustenance. Is that a sin?
A friend of mine suggested I attended a prayer group where, apparently, miracles have happened. My first impression was not great, but then I closed my eyes and ask God to lend me His eyes and heart, so that I would see the people without prejudice and embrace -- with open heart -- the help offered me. I had met one of the members at a health food store. I do not know if it is a gift I have, but many times I can tell when a person has a serious condition, just by inhaling their breath. I knew this man had a problem with his liver, and told him about liver detoxification. He told me he had diabetes. Well, diabetes is a metabolic condition caused by an insufficient and toxic liver, but he did not buy my theory. When I saw him at the prayer group, his condition appeared to have worsened. He has a cheerful attitude; he is one of the group leaders and is capable of transmitting his strong faith to others. Can someone tell him he does not heal because of his sick soul? I kept my opinions to myself, and stayed for the session. I believed that along with prayers, the group might benefit from natural healing, and from learning that toxicity is the underlying cause for disease and morbidity.
Then, when it was time to pray for each other, and when it was my turn, some members approached me, and rested their hands over my head and shoulders, which was very painful for me to bear. One began the prayer asking God forgiveness for my sins. I had just gone to confession and had received communion. Where was she coming from? I felt angry, but I controlled it very well. Others followed by asking that I unburdened my soul.
In another occasion, a member from a different group offered to help me pray, and while I was before the Tabernacle - my eyes closed and in deep meditation, she grabbed my hands and began to tell me "Open your hands and keep them open. You are not breathing correctly." She told me how to breathe, but actually, she was telling me how to hyperventilate. My meditation was interrupted by her instruction on how to pray. I opened my eyes and told her to stop interrupting my dialogue with God, and that she could help me by praying with me in silence. She turned around and, running out the church, she disappeared. Later on I was told she had cried because I hurt her deeply.
Because one of my sisters used to be part of a prayer group, I recently told her how I felt about the techniques used by some. I do not believe God prescribes the exact manner we should place our hands or how we should breathe. The only thing He requests is that we approach Him with a clean and sincere heart. The night before Jesus crucifixion, He asked His disciples to stay up and pray with Him. He did not tell them how to do it, nor did He tell them to ask His Father forgiveness for His sins. When these people go on a healing crusade believing sick people have a sick soul, and believe they are the Messiah who is going to redeem these souls, they are not only stealing from The Lord, who is the source of all healing, they are not sharing the Lord's Graces with the sick. If a person really wants to help one pray, they should try and channel their minds and energy toward the needs of the ill, and ask God to take their prayers and join them with those of the sick person. They should not tell God "I am going to knock-off the demons out of this person." They also should not ask "What part of your body is it that you want us to pray for?" To me, that is just human curiosity and they want to know what is wrong with you. God knows what hurts - He knows everything, and also, in our prayers we tell him about our pains. He knows our name, our thoughts, our hearts, and our souls.
Then There Is a Time for Miracles
When I was still reporting for work, one of my clients invited me to his church so that they could pray for me. That was when I had the tumor. The services were at a Christian church, and I was introduced during the service. At the end, one of the Elders, a sister who was visiting from another state, asked others to join her in prayer, and I was invited to the front. I had been learning how to meditate, so by the time they gathered around me, I was ready to go into deep meditation. None of them touched me, except the Elder who held my hands very briefly, before putting her hands together. She stood before me while all of them closed their eyes and bowed their heads. She began to ask The Lord to make Himself present as He had promised to be "when two or more get together in His name." I felt very warm, and I remember her saying something to the effect that He had created us from soil; that He had crafted me, and that he could use the same soil to "re-create me;" that He please rush to my aid and craft me anew so that I would be healed.
I had closed my eyes when the rest of the group did, and while the Elder was directing the prayer, I felt I was fainting. In a kind of dream I saw myself walking in the desert. It was at sunset, and the sand was red. The sand then turned to soil and it cracked as though it had not been watered in a long time - like the cracks in some mountains. The cracks disappeared and the soil became alive! There appeared to be some movement coming from below the top layer - like there was something rolling underneath. I saw my face shaped on the soil, and I realized I was no longer standing, but under the soil, and my entire body was profiled by the moist reddish-looking soil. I felt the moist soil over my face and closed eyes, and I did not need to breathe!
The Sister was still praying, when my mind began to tell me something was about to happen. I thought the message was I was going to die, and that was the one way The Lord was going to re-create me. When I shared my experience with the Sister, she told me I should not fear, and that the message from my vision was that I had been healed. When I had a second CT Scan of the abdomen, few weeks later, the tumor was gone, leaving only the scars! Faith healers should do that - have faith and be a medium for The Lord's works.
May 2004