the cold inky blackness surrounds me
the cold dark silence haunts me

the warm bright sun outside beckons
the warm white grace of God is with me

the hurts of my heart weigh heavy on my mind
and the thoughts of my mind burden my heart

the river of love that used to flow through me
is now but a trickle, held up by my mind's own dam

the hurt and anger inside flow forth
as the bullets from a gun have gone

the caring of another I once had
and I threw it away in my pride

as i sit here, my heart boils forth
all the hurt from so long ago bubbles

i feel the anger, the sadness, the anguish
that i had long ago thought was torn asunder

i try to close off my heart, to keep the hurt within
but it pours forth, threatening to over my mind win

i feel a tear trickle down my cheek
as cold and harsh as can be

for it is filled with a bitterness that i have long felt
and with a hope that is gone like a timbered tree

i feel the waves of tremors sweep up my spine
as my heart longs to cry for a long time

i try to keep it all shut up dammed like a river
but still it trickles forth sometimes bursting like a raging flood

at these times i lose control i lose all sense of self
i get lost in the torent of rage, and away i am swept

but at the end, as with all things, it must go away
and i feel it die down, as does the grass without any rain

for the hurt will last forever, until this life is gone
for the love that life has lost, and the hurt that has begun