I am hurting inside and I don't know why
It isn't a hurt of mourning
It isn't a hurt of rejection
It isn't a hurt of loneliness
I don't quite know what it is
Then again, that isn't the whole truth
Months ago, I knelt down and asked God
to help my friends meet the ones that they
were supposed to end up being with
for the rest of thier lives
It seems that has now happened for all
but one of my friends (that i prayed for)
and the second half of my prayer was that
only after they find happiness did I want
God to lead me to the one I was supposed
to be with, yet, I also fear her
I may have met her before, and for all 
I know, she is someone I know very well
and on the other hand, she could very
well be someone I have not met before
Why am I in anticipation so much? 
I am afraid of the kind of commitment
it takes to be with someone
and in the chance that God gave me before,
I wasn't a very good partner of any kind
I feel so uptight inside, as though I
am getting wrung out like a sponge
It feels like I'm pushing against
a wall made of stone, yet I do not see the wall
I just pray that God helps me to see what I 
am pushing against, and that he will
help me see who it is that I am supposed to
be with, when the time comes, because if
it were left up to me, I would make the wrong choice